torn between two worlds

i remember that just before the holidays, i often felt that i missed home.. and that i wasn't spending enough time with my family.. but it's times like these.. when i just feel the opposite.. being at home annoys me to the max.. like how there's constant nagging about the things that i do and how i do them.. and i don't get it.. i know you care about me and want the best for me but still.. just because i do things differently doesn't mean i can't take care of myself.. just because i don't do things doesn't mean i don't know how to do them.. just because i don't sleep the whole night cuz i'm watching one tree hill doesn't mean i'm a disappointment and that i'm wasting my life away.. it's only wasting my life away if i watch the whole night during exam period.. but it's the holidays!! and i think i get to do something i like for a change.. it's days like these when i feel that staying in hall's so much better.. i do whatever i want whenever i want.. nobody says i'm a disappointment just cuz my room is messy.. i bathe whenever, sleep whenever, eat whenever.. basically, nobody to control my life.. i just don't understand why you think so little of me.. like i'm going to go astray anytime.. i would think i'm actually quite a good girl.. i don't smoke, don't drink, don't club, don't gamble, don't rob steal cheat.. i get ok grades, i'm going to get a job whether i like or not, i'm not going to throw you into an old folks' home.. am i not a good daughter to have..? just because i don't talk back and don't say what i really think even though i don't like it doesn't you can force me to do things.. it doesn't mean i don't have a mind of my own.. so now when i tell you what i want or what i think you just think i'm being rebellious.. staying at home for so long makes me tired of it all..
shun, i change my mind.. i'm looking forward to going back to hall.. away from home.. but where i can find peace.. i can do whatever i want whenever i want (with the exception of oc la).. but still.. it beats having people telling you want you should do for every single thing.. and it beats having people looking down on you thinking that you can't do a thing, and 'can't even take care of yourself even though you're so old already'.. yah yah yah okay okay..